He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just high enough for therapy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
