oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
