im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
