Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
