plz talk dirty to me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
