I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
