We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
