plz talk dirty to me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize