one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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