This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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