i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
