dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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