ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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