i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
