i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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