Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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