is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
