Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
