I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
