I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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