So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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