Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize