On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
