Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
