i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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