I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
