so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she smelled like a LAN party
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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