I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
