sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
