This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I have post one night stand depression
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