garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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