what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
