I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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