there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
