She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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