Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
