Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
