Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize