it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
