don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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