I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
