I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
