Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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