Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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