Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I love you.
Bad choice
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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