In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
