Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize