That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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