don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
