just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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