there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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