I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize