then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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