Kiss
Puke
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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