Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
