David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
