I CAN MOONWALK!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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