I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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