I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
