Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize