I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
