I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
