Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
please come you make the beer taste better
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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