Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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