you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
