dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
