I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
