Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
