What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
