Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize