she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
