I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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