it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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