sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Two words: blizzard sex
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
