Heybabeimwearingurpanties
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
