Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
