You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
