The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
