You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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