I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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