she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Mom said you looked used
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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