my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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