Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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