Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
