i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
