You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
